It has been one month already! The hardest most horrible month of my life!! People say with time this pain will ease up a bit...but it hasn't!! Especially watching Logan and Brayden...That's when it hurts the most, knowing they won't KNOW their daddy!
I was told that it was going to be hardest when everyone goes home and goes back to their "normal" while I'm left here trying to figure out what my new "normal" will be with out Jake. AND BOY IS THAT TRUE!! After the family left last year...I felt safe and secure knowing I had him here! I don't want to learn how to live without him.
In church each Sunday I feel like every service is directed directly to our family! We are a very blessed family, who has a TREMENDOUS amount of wonderful people constantly here for us and continuously praying that we will find comfort! For that I am thankful! I am also thankful for the almost 28 years of memories I do have and will make it my main priority to share as much as I possibly can with his precious baby's..who I love so dearly!
I now know how precious life is and that God has a plan for each and every one of us...so I'm going to LOVE on my wonderful FAMILY, and treasure each day I have with them! I know that every person at Jake's funeral...nearly 700 people, left that church with a plan to be a better person, to be the type of giving caring, and kind hearted man that Jake was. I hope that when I am gone I have at least half of the great things thought of me as my big brother did!! HE WAS A MAGNIFICENT MAN!! I LOVE HIM!
You are such a strong woman Jacklyn! I can not even imagine how you feel but know that you are doing a great job. Your little boys and your little nephews are blessed to have you!
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